Are there funnier appraisal notes than these?

Appraisals are great fodder for blogs, especially when they are as funny as these. These have come from genuine appraisals within the Australian Hotel industry:

• "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing that holds it all together."
• "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
• "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
• "He would argue with a signpost."
• "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
• "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves a room."
• "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
• "A prime candidate for natural deselection."
• "Donated his brain to science before he was finished using it."
• "Gates are down, light is flashing, but no train."
• "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
• "If you stand close to him you can hear the sea."
• "Its hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm."  my favourite!!
• "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge—he only gargled."